Contact Info / Websites
so for the people who are here for the first time ''hi'' this is about the post before this one so mabey read that one first so you understand this better.
for the people who read my last post you probebly know where this is going sooo the choice was last time go with my feelings and probebly hurt the other person or just try to bear with it but go against that feeling and just make my friend happy, i explained it better in the last post. i'm not going to explain it twice but anyway. for the first time in a long while i have choosen for myself. unfortanally the person didn't like my desission and i defentially know that even tho my friend play's it off like he isn't hurt, i know better. i feel bad but relieved, but i feel like i lost a little peace of my friend and he will not trust me anymore and really hates me deep down and i'm honestly really sorry for making him feel that way. i think i made the right choose altho it hurts that he said i should think about myself more and now he sais i could think about others more and that's a no for me. so i think i did right, i feel better now and i don't feel like i'm lying to myself so that's good ^_^
so for now i'm going to let myself grow and try to be more positive about myself and focus on school, my future, art and my friends of course. you know life is a batle that we all have to fight, some are hard and some are easy but it''s still a batle and i think i won a batle today and went with what i thought was right altho i hurts other people. but i will hope tomorrow is a better day for all of us ^_^
for the person who i hurt today (you know it's you when you read this) i'm really sorry, i didn't mean to do any harm to you, i'm sorry i reacted the way that i did because it wasn't fair against you but know i'm still here for you all the way. i don't want you to hate me because i don't hate you as well and want the best for you. just know i will always be supporting you but that i'm not ready yet for somthing you want. i'm sorry.
and now for everyone else to go to somthing else how was your day? have you Guy's done anything fun yet? or mabey made some art. tell me anything i'm happy to hear all your story's ^_^
But anyway Stay Positive and have an awesome day <3
so to start with somthing positive i cut my hair today ^_^ it's alot shorter now than before, until my shoulders. it's weird that i don't have long hair over my shoulders (for now, it grows back fast :p ) but they cut it a little to short but i like it and it doesn't look bad.
but anyway you probebly wouldn't care so i will go on. so why did i write as titel: i need some help :/ . there is a good reason for that. so i won't go in to the little details because i will hurt someone with that and i don't want that. sooooo i litterly need some advice because i have been struggeling with this the past couple of weeks:
so anyway i will go straight to the point like i always do and like to do. soooo these last couple weeks i have been doing somthing that goes against my opinion and feelings. i am trying to learn how to love myself but this just drains my energy and hope but if i stop it will destroy someone else who i care about above every thing else. if i stop the person could break down and give up hope and i wouldn't want that. i will still be by there side and try helping but i don't know what to choose. should i keep going and help them keep there mood and hope up but go against my feelings or should i stop and go with my feelings but risk that the person could give up hope and breaks down? i am struggeling with this for the last couple weeks and it's honestly breaking me down so i need some help so please can anybody give me some good advice. i don't care how long your reply is just send it to me please, i can really use it because i don't know what to do.
but thanks for reading this ^_^ i hope you all have a great day
and stay positive <3
so as most people know it's valentine's day tomorrow (and today :p didn't even know that but anayway) i hope you all have a great day. it doesn't matter if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend as most people think but spend some time with friends counts as well (or that's what i think. it are loved onces right? i think so ^_^) but if you don't like this stuff (like me ;) ) than just spend some time doing what you love. that's what i do most of the time but don't irritate yourself please, it doesn't help anyone ^_^ just try to have a good time and stay positive <3
for the people who have a 'Valentine' Happy valentine!! i hope you have a great time with them ^_^
and now for me i want to thank some people (because it's the day of love soooo i can take this oppertunity) so here we go than. if your not in between these names and your my friend i'm sorry i forgot you :/ but here we go ^_^
@Alexwilsoncomposer: thank you for being there, i know you have been busy lattely but i really enjoyed all the time we spend talking. we have been friends for a while now and you where one of my first friends here. thanks for being around and sticking with me for this long ^_^ ( http://alexwilsoncomposer.newgrounds.com/ )
@MchectorII: i have known you for a couple months now (don't know exactlly how long) but i'm happy i got you as friend as well. i can talk about serious stuff with you but also alot of funny stuff. i'm happy i got you as a friend ^_^ ( http://mchectorii.newgrounds.com/ )
@LuckyLightTitan: i know you for a couple months now as well (i think 4 months now from december) our meeting was a little weird but i'm really happy you got in touch with me and askt me why i wasn't aswering yet to an recequest. i'm glad i reacted because we have some pretty fun confersations ^_^ so thanks <3 ( http://luckylighttitan.newgrounds.com/ )
@Tadiel: i know you for a year now here and in real i love our confersations so thanks for being my friend. you always know how to even with the weirdest things bring a smile on my face and that i can talk with you about 'girl' anime's as well (somthimes because i usally don't do that :p ) so thanks <3 ( http://tadiel.newgrounds.com/ )
so thank you all so much. you all bring a smile on my face and make my life alot better. without you guy's and my friends i probebly wouldn't have maked it. i appreaciate everyone of you. also thanks for all the support so far. i know i'm not the most intressting but i'm happy you guy's stick around ^_^
so anyway i will stop with the pampering :p but:
stay positive and have a wonderfull day <3
so today i'm finally done with a busy part of my life or atleast i'm not as busy. i'm finally done with the hardest parts of this week and i hope i can finally post some more art because i have a little more time now. i'm still really busy with outher stuff and finding some things for friends and working on a project of a really good friend of mine <3 but i will try to create a little more art than i have done this month.
but anyway i'm now trying to figure out what my style is of drawing and i'm always open to try new styles and try to draw new things (if you have a idea you can tell me and i will try to make somthing like that ^_^) so i have been practasing alot, i have a couple drawings that i made but did'n't share because it's not the best work but mabey you guy's would like to see it anyway, mabey? idk but that's for you to deside.
but anyway, i hope you guy's are doing okay, otherwise mabey i can try to make you happy again or give advise.only if you want tho so i understand if that's not what you want. but i hope you all are okay otherwise i wish you all the luck of the world or atleast my luck (i don't really need it because it doesn't work for me :p)
but joking aside, i hope you guy's have a wonderfull day and stay positive <3
(enjoy the music ^_^ )
so first thing i want to say to the people who helped me find a painttool 'Thank you so much' because of you guy's help i found a painttool and i am excperimenting with the digital drawing (because i can draw but digital art is learning everything again and without a drawing ipaid it's somthing completly different) but i hope i can share some art i made soon (as i can figure out how i can do some stuff ^_^) but again thanks to all the people that helped me with that.
but anyway so latley i have been bizzy with some personal stuff. a little hint it's pretty hard to do school work, projects, help my friends out and art. i am in a pretty inportant vace of my life to deside with road i want to follow so it's a little bit of a chaos situation for me. don't worry i am fine and i can manage all this but i just wanted to tell you all that my art will not be as much as last month (or december) i am just taking a little break from all this so i can foxus on my friends and school work so i can do everything perfect and help annyone out if they need help. so besaclly what i am saying is that my art can be later than most of the time but don't worry i will be making art just this time it will be a little longer before a new drawing arives. just so you all know that. but with further ado ^_^
i hope you all have a wonderfull day and stay positive.
p.s here is the song for today ^_^ it's called 'waiting for you' nightcore from Kami Music. hope you all like it <3
so today i tried to download paintool Sai. unfortanly it doesn't work for me :( i tried everything i could but it will not work. i want to try digital art to and give it a change to see how it is. i want to inprove my art with it to. but if that doesn't work than i don't know what to use otherwise. i tried everything i know but it will not work so i wanted to ask you Guy's if you know another paint tool that is free. mabey that will work. (i hope so atleast) because i want to give you more art and somthing else (because i only make hand made art right now so)
so if you know if you know another paint tool for free that works good plzzz tell me so i can make better art and improve myself. (and if you know and tell me Thank you <3 your awesome)
but with further ado i hope you all have a great day ^_^ and stay positive <3
p.s i forgot to say i will try to put some music here so you have somthing to lissen to and mabey you guy's like it so here you go:
so this is '【Chill】Michl - Kill Our Way To Heaven' from Kito Music (she makes some great music)
sooo christmas is over now. probebly alot of you are disipointed (or not that can also be ^_^ ) i hope you all had a a wonderfull time with friends and family but New Year is coming soon to. i can't wait to see all the beautiful fireworks. but because i wanted to talk about some rendom stuff (like i always do :P ) i wanted to talk about friends. i am sure all of you have friends. the last couple weeks/months have been great. i have made amezing friends, or try to make some new friends. i want to thank them for sticking around with me it means alot. and also every one that follows me. now it are 7 fans (when i write this) i want to thank you all. i am a beginner with drawing here and i am surly not the best one but i do everything to make myself better and improve. it means alot that you are still around. but enough of the cheesie stuff (sorry for that :P but it hase to be said somthimes ^_^)
here is a song from mirima i think it hase a great beat and it makes me happy if i lissen to it. i hope you guy's like it ^_^
so as you all probebly know its christmas (or for some of you tomorrow or mabey its already today) i am not the Christmas type myself (because i haven't had a really happy Christmas from when i was younger till now) but that doesn't keep me from wishing it for you all <3 i think the spirit of Christmas is not only one those days but should be spread everyday and not everyone hase a Christmas, and i understand so i will still try to spread positive fibes now and after christmas (even if you don't celebrate it like me) . mabey if you want of course you can tell me what you got or what you did for Christmas this year. otherwise i am still always free to share drawing idea's with (mabey even christmas themed ;) ) and you can also ask quistions of course.
but with further ado i hope you all have a wonderfull Christmas and a Happy New Year with family and friends. and lets make this Christmas and New Year for everybody <3
so i din't know what to write here but i desided to do it anyway. i can talk along time about stuff but i wouldn't want to do that to your ears and eyes :p but i wanted to know if enyone wanted to know somthing or wanted help. i am always open to people who have quistions and can give me good feedback so i can inprove my art. also i wanted to ask you guys what i should draw next. (i am running out of idea's so if you have any idea's feel free to tell me ^_^ ) also how was your day? did you do anything exciting and of course christmas. is someone excited about it? so that was the random stuff i wanted to tell you guys :P nothing inportant but thanks for reading all the way if you did ^_^ (you can get a futural cookie ^_^ )
keep the positivity going and, i hope that everything is going okay. have a nice day you all <3
so today i desided not to finsh the story. (i had a lead but it had no continue so i desided to stop with this little story) instead i desided for this talking from me to spread some positivity. i know some people are in hard times or, hate them selfs, have big trouble or a hard life. i know how it feels and its hard but, look at me now ^_^ with all those things i created art, friends and make people that i know happy. i turn the negative in to positive. i know that its harder than i say but eventually it will turn around for you for me for everybody that believes in themselfs. and i will support the people spreading positive things. ''somthimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. tip toe if you must but at least take the step'' its a quote i found and it inspired me and i hope it does the same for you ^_^ just don't give up and have hope. behind the clouds wil always be the sun. try to be positive it will help you ;)
Don't Ever Let Enyone Dull Your Beautiful Spark ^_^